Bellatrix's insanity
by flowerbirdie13
Summary: Bellatrix would  do anything to get the Dark Lord to love her. But what about Rudolphus, the guy who's just there, when Bellatrix really doesn't want him. Or does she? Who does Bellatrix love more, and what will be the obastacles she will face?
1. Chapter 1

**Bellatrix's Insanity Chapter 1**

I knew I shouldn't have. He just wasn't what I wanted. It's not that he wasn't a perfect pureblood husband. He was a suitable husband in every way. But he wasn't it. No. I knew who was the one I wanted, but I tried to deny it. The more time I spent at his side, the more I knew I loved him. But I couldn't. It was improper. Me, love the Dark Lord? Of course, my parents would be very pleased if I married either one. But I don't need their fucking approval. I am the Dark Lord's most loyal follower, for shit's sake! I love Dolphy. But I love the Dark Lord more. I know the Dark lord would never even consider thinking of me that way. It's so improper. After all, I'm supposed to be his most loyal subject. What could I do to prevent it? He's charismatic, determined, strong-willed. Everything I'm attracted to. Basically everything Dolphy's not. I am willing to give my life for him, torture every single muggle and mudblood for him. I can't love the Dark Lord. I can't. But I do. I've loved him ever since I first met him, that fateful night in the Slytherin common room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I was reading _Muggles Stink _in the Slytherin common room, in my favorite chair by the fireplace. I heard someone come up behind me, but I refused to look up.

"Hello, Bella," Tom said, leaning over the top of my chair. "Hi, Riddle."

He sat in the chair across from me. "There's something I would like to discuss with you."

"Okay. Oh, and when I'm finished, you can read this book. It's excellent, and that's saying something."

"Okay. I came up with a name."

"You did?" I sighed. I hadn't thought of the name I'm going to have when I'm a famous witch.

"Yes. I was fiddling around with my full name, and I have decided that I will be called Lord Voldemort. Except nobody will call me that. I will be so feared and awe-inspiring that no one would dare use that name. They would be that afraid of me."

"So what would people call you? If they can't say your awesome name?"

"The Dark Lord."

"But I'm the Dark Lady! Wouldn't that be kinda awkward?"

"Well, I want to be the Dark Lord. You can be Lord Voldemort, if you don't want to be the Dark Lady because it would be awkward if I'm the Dark Lord." I could tell his temper was rising.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a Lady, not a Lord." I could see him relax a bit. "And I was just teasing. God, you should relax more."

"You're telling me to relax? And I came up with the name for my loyal followers."

"Ooh, what will I be called?"

"You, among others, will be called Death eaters."

"How will we eat Death? It's not tangible. You can't eat it."

"It doesn't mean that literally. I mean that we'll go down in history forever, for what we will accomplish. We will, in theory, never die, because our legacy will last forever. Do you understand now, Bella?"

"Eh, kind of."

"Bellatrix, do you realize that we will be famous for starting a wizard revolution. Wizards, witches, werewolves, giants, even goblins will rise and overcome the stupid Muggles. Wizards and witches will rule over Muggles. We will come out of hiding, and will never again be forced to hide our identities."

"Yes, yes, you've practiced your inspiring speech that will make millions join our cause. But we're only fifteen, for God's sake. But, you have to promise me something for when we finally act."

"Tell me before I promise anything."

"You'll let me have a go at a few muggle-borns and let me torture whomever gets in your way."

"Of course."

"Good. Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes. What do you think of Lestrange?"

"Dolphy? Ugh, I really don't want to talk about him."

"Why not?"

I cleared my throat and started to imitate Mum. "Oh, Bella, dear, Rudolphus is a perfect pureblood boy. It would be a perfect match. He's an excellent student, a Slytherin, a pureblood, and of great lineage. Not as great as ours, of course, but he's from a reputable family. It's a perfect match.' Ugh. My parents approve of him. Why would I date a boy that my parents would approve of? But I'll probably end up with him, just to please them."

"You should. He's a good choice for you. And he agrees with us."

"And he's cute."

"But I'm cuter, right?" I tried not to laugh at his question. He was, without a doubt, more handsome than Dolphy. But in a cold way. A powerful way. He's going to make an amazing leader one day. He's the boy that I'm attracted to. Fuck my parents' wishes. Tom Riddle and I would make a perfect match. But my parents won't even consider him, just because they don't know his family. I haven't told them about our revolution plan. They would love it. But then they'd take over and make everything their way. No. This is between Tom, me, Dolphy, Lucius, Avery, Yaxley, Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, and the others. No parents involved yet.

I was so lost in my mental rant that I'd forgotten that I hadn't answered him yet. "You're not cute. You're handsome. There's a huge difference."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Riddle, do you think I'm cute?" the words came right out of my mouth without my permission. "I'm sorry. I should not have said that. The words just came out, and…" I was too mortified to continue. Huge mistake. What had I done?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Well, only a bloody idiot would think you're not cute," Tom said, slightly grinning.

"Good." I turned around in my chair to find Lucius. Of course, he was watching Cissy study in the corner. "Luci! Do you think I'm cute?"

"Yes, but Narcisssa is cuter." I saw her blush and hurry to scribble something, avoiding Luci's eyes.

I turned back to Riddle. "Huh. He's an idiot, but he thinks I'm cute. Maybe he was just saying that because I'm his girlfriend's sister."

Riddle grinned, but didn't laugh, He never laughed at anything. "it's impossible to think you're not cute. But Lucius is an idiot, no doubt about it."

I laughed. This is why I love him. He could make me laugh without even trying.

"I heard that." Luci said.

"No one cares!" Riddle smiled slightly. "Voldy…"

"What?" Riddle asked.

"Well, Voldemort's a mouthful. May I call you Voldy?"

"It's not very respectful."

"Well, I'd only call you that when it's just the two of us, so not very often. Around the others, of course I would call you milord, and the Dark Lord. So, what do you say?" Asking if I was cute, asking to call him Voldy, these stupid questions. I went too far that night. I know I did. Voldy just shrugged off my questions, letting me do as I please. But that night, I crossed the line. I might have revealed my feelings for him, by giving him such a ridiculous nickname from a name he himself came up with. Sure, I'm allowed to call him Voldy in private, but I never do. I respect him much more than I did then. I should have respected him then, but I didn't. Why? Why didn't I just ignore my feelings and give him the respect he deserves?

So lost in thoughts was I that I didn't hear Dolphy come up behind me in the present.

"What are you thinking about? Or should I say, who are you thinking about?" he asked, sitting in the chair across from me in our living room.

"You should know exactly what I'm thinking about."

"Well, I'm not very good at Legilimency like milord, so I actually don't know what you're thinking, even though you may think I know what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking about milord."

"Of course. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're a bloody idiot, that's why."

"So beautiful, and yet, so cruel. Why do you do this to me, Bella?" I knew he was teasing, but I think he might actually be a little serious.

"Because it's true, you are a bloody idiot, although I suppose there are many other names that could be used to describe you, such as douche, bastard, and asshole."

"I'm your husband, could you please at least be a little nice to me?"

I took out my wand. "I'm a Death Eater. And so are you. You should know how nice I can be, especially after I tortured the Longbottoms until they both went insane. Would you like the same, dear husband?"

"What did I say to deserve such cruel treatment?"

"You asked me to be nice."

"Why are so moody tonight?"

"Because you're fucking annoying! Just leave me alone! Can you do that? Is it too much to ask?" I cried. He could be such a douche.

"All right. If you needed some space, you should have just said so. I'll go away, unless you want to torture and kill some Muggles?"

"Just shut up and leave me alone." I really hated him. He was always there. If I could, I would kill him or leave him. But he's a servant of the Dark Lord, so milord probably wouldn't appreciate losing a loyal follower. And even if I left him, I would still see him at the Death Eater meetings. Why did I marry him in the first place?

_Because no one else would ever love you. Because_ the one you love_ would never love you,_ a voice whispered in my mind.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled at the voice. I could convince him to love me. I would.

_He would never love anyone. He doesn't even have any friends. Just servants. What makes you think that he would love you, of all people? Are you that full of yourself?_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! STOP TALKING SHIT, OR I'LL MAKE YOU!" How? How could I make a voice in my head shut up?

"Bella?" Dolphy stuck his head in. "Are you all right?"

"Just leave me alone, you pile of shit," I whispered, but not to him. I was talking to the voices. I didn't hate Dolphy. I just…Feel very emotional. What the fuck's wrong with me?

"Bella, please. Just tell me what I did wrong," he whispered.

I suddenly felt sick. I raced to the bathroom and puked my guts into the toilet.

"Bella!" Dolphy was there behind me, putting a cool wash cloth on the back of my neck, and lifting my hair out of the way. He murmured soft words while I was puking.

Finally, I lifted my head. "Ew."

"Are you feeling all right? Do you need anything? Here, rinse your mouth with this." He handed me a cup of water.

I rinsed my mouth and gave him back the cup.

"I'm fine. It was probably food poisoning or something." I sat up, and felt fine.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I snapped.

"Do you need to go to St. Mungo's?"

"No, Dolphy, I'm fine. I just threw up. I probably ate something bad last night. And do you really think that I could go there and not get recognized and sent back to Azkaban?"

He ignored me. "Are you sure you're not…?" he trailed off, scared to continue. Good. If he'd finished that thought, I would definitely crucio him. But…

"Quite." Shit. "Uh, I need to go get some fresh air. Don't come." I Disapparated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I anxiously knocked on her door. "Enter!" she called.

I slowly walked in, looking around. It was a small house, but immaculate.

"Bellatrix, you know I usually do house visits. If you needed me, you could have just called," she called. No one except milord knew her name. She's very secretive. All we Death Eaters know is that she's the only healer who attends to us without turning us in to the Ministry. I call her 'Person Who Heals Death Eaters' or just 'Person' for short.

"Sorry, Person. This is something private." I told her about what happened.

"What did you eat for dinner last night?" she asked, motioning for me to sit on her couch. I sat gratefully.

"Meat pies."

"Was the meat fully cooked?"

"I don't know. It didn't taste like it. But Rudolphus made it, so I kind of doubt it."

"Were there any leftovers?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Could you please bring me some? I don't want to eat it, because I don't trust Rudolphus to cook anything, but this way I can know if it was the pie or if you're…" she trailed off.

"Okay." I Disapparated.

I grabbed the leftovers from the fridge, and Apparated back to her house.

She took the pie, and took it apart with a fork in her kitchen. "The meat's very undercooked. Did Rudolphus throw up too?"

"I don't know. He could've when I came here, but I don't know."

"All right. Just to make sure, can you use the bathroom right now?"

"Yeah."

She handed me a package. "I don't think you're pregnant, but just to make sure."

"Thanks." I went into her bathroom, opened the package and followed the instructions. I impatiently waited.

Finally, it was the moment of truth. Negative. I came out, sighing in relief.

"No. I'm not." I said, throwing everything out.

"Good. I'm guessing it was the bad meat."

"Okay, thank you, Person."

"You're welcome, Bellatrix."

I left her house, Apparating back home.

"Dolphy, I'm home!" I called, my face blank. I didn't want him to know where I'd just gone.

"In here," he called weakly from the bathroom.

"Idiot." I walked in on him puking in the toilet. "You're never cooking again."

"So we're just going to eat take-out for the rest of our lives? Or going to Malfoy Manor and eating dinner with the Malfoys every night?"

"I'd cook, idiot." I walked out of the room. I was so mean to him. Eh, he deserved it. I shrugged off my guilt.

Rudolphus walked out of the room, looking much better.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Four fifty."

"I'm feeling all better. I puked up last night's dinner. And you?" I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen. I wanted to eat something before the Death Eater meeting.

"I'm good." He followed me into the kitchen.

"Fine." I waved my wand and assembled two cheese sandwiches. No time for anything fancy.

We ate them quickly, and Disapparated as soon as we were done.

"Hi Bella!" Cissy gave Dolphy and me a hug each. "Hi Dolphy! Come in!"

"Hi Cissy." I followed her into the meeting room. My lord was already seated at the head of the table.

I took my seat beside him on his left, and Dolphy sat next to me.

All of the other Death Eaters were there except for Mr. Hairy Nose and Yaxley. But there was an unconscious witch hanging upside down over the table, slowly revolving. I didn't recognize her, but I knew she must be of some importance to my lord. Perhaps Nagini will be full at the end of the meeting. Wormtail, the spineless idiot, was sitting almost directly below her.

The two missing men walked in.

"Snape, Yaxley.." My lord sounded as emotionless as usual. His pale and handsome snake-like face was hard to read. "You are almost late."

Hm. I'm never late. I'm always early. I hate Snape. He can be almost late, and get away with him. But I'm milord's favorite. I'm his most loyal. Snape sucks. I'm the most loyal Death Eater. I don't trust Snape. He might turn on milord. He could be a double spy.

I paid attention to my lord, but he was talking to Snape. Yeah, the Potter boy's getting moved to the house of an Order member next Saturday. Great. The sooner my lord can kill him. If only the information had come from anyone but him. But what if it was just the Order trying to feed us the wrong information? What if they knew that Snape was a Death Eater? Yaxley said that they were going to move the Potter boy the thirtieth, the day before his birthday. But my lord still believed Snape, rather than Yaxley. I didn't believe Snape. But, if we attacked then, and the information was wrong, then my lord would be quite mad at Snape…

Oh, good, we've infiltrated the Ministry. Perhaps it will be ours by next Saturday, but I doubt it, if Yaxley's in charge of that part of the plan. Idiot. Yeah, I doubt the Ministry will be ours by then.

Yes, the boy will travel in the open, so he'll be easier to kill. My lord will be the only one who will kill the Potter boy.

My lord needs a wand! Perhaps he would use mine! What an honor that would be! No one volunteered theirs. I was about to, but then my lord called on Luci. Luci doesn't look very well now that he's out of that awful place. I can understand that. I wasn't as beautiful as usual when I first got out of Azkaban.

Oh! My lord is questioning Luci's loyalty! I hear Nagini…Time to save Luci's ass. Again.

"My lord, there is no higher honor than that of your being here. No higher pleasure." I leaned in towards him.

My lord praised me. I had said the right thing. Those were words from my heart, and my lord approved.

"My lord, I speak nothing but the truth, as you know!"

"No higher pleasure, even compared to the joyous event that has recently occurred in your family this past week?"

"I know not what my lord means."

"Your niece has married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be aware of such a happy occasion."

There was an outburst of laughter at my embarrassment, as well as Cissy's, Luci's, and Draco's. I didn't look at Dolphy.

I assured my lord that we were not related to her, she's no niece of ours. We haven't seen Andromeda after she married the Mudblood. Tonks has nothing to do with us.

"Well, Draco? Will you baby-sit the cubs?" my lord asked. Draco blushed both at being singled out and what my lord was saying. Everyone laughed except Cissy, Luci, Dolphy and me. And Draco, of course, but that was implied.

Then my lord shut everyone up. Then my lord basically said that that side of my family has to die to keep the family pureblood. I assured him that I would at the first opportunity.

That was when my lord turned everyone's attention to our guest. She was a witch that taught at Hogwarts, teaching shit about Muggles being not that different from witches and wizards. Bullshit, in other words. My lord made jokes about her beliefs, but eventually, he killed her. I tried not to laugh. She had it coming. Then Nagini ate her, which just made my day. Idiots like her have no right to live.

Next Saturday. Then the war would officially start. The Order of the Phoenix would fight, of course, and they would all die. We'd lose some on our side too, as expected, but we all accepted that we might die. If it's for such a noble cause, how could we not be willing to die for it? But who will we lose?

**Hi, it's me, the author. Please review! I would greatly appreciate it! And if you don't, I'll think that no one likes my story, and I'll just stop writing until someone other than SuperSnuffles13 reviews. So, I will not write another chapter until I have one review from anyone that's not SuperSnuffles13. Thank you very much, and I apologize for being such a drama queen. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday. The day we've all been preparing for is finally here. Who will we lose? How many members of the Order of the Phoenix will we kill? Will my lord finally kill the Potter boy?

I took a deep breath as we prepared to take off.

We mounted our brooms, and flew into the air. My lord led us to where we needed to go, and the battle began.

Killing Curses flew everywhere. I thought I saw the Potter boy, but I wasn't sure. I sent a stunning spell towards him, but he threw a Killing Curse at me. It wasn't the Potter boy, then. He would never kill anyone, even a Death Eater. He once tried to torture me, but he was too much of a wimp to actually do any damage. Wimp. I shot a Killing Curse at him. It missed and hit the Order member on the same broom. I knew it wasn't the real Potter boy. They would assume that we would assume that the Potter boy would be riding a broom, so it wasn't him. A tad bit confusing. Oh well.

I threw a Killing Curse a the person ahead of me, probably another Order member. But I didn't stay there long enough to see who it was.

I attacked more Order members, exhilarated by the joy of killing. I laughed. Then a curse almost hit me from behind. "You tried to kill me," I giggled. Their mistake! I turned around and shot at the Order member.

I saw a broom ahead of me. "Lumos," I said. My wand lit up. It was Mundungus Fletcher, the idiot. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" I screamed, a flash of green light following my wand, making a direct hit. I cackled, and flew ahead, trying to kill as many members of the Order that I could.

Finally, we were told to retreat. I didn't know if my lord had killed the Potter boy or not.

We all flew back to Malfoy Manor. I looked for milord.

"Luci," I called, running up to him. "Where is my lord?"

"Bella, I don't know. Where's Rudolphus?"

"Luci, I don't know. Or care. Where's my lord?"

"He might be battling Potter this minute. Be patient. Why don't you just look for Dolphy while you're waiting for my lord to get back?"

"Ah, you just killed me! 'be patient'? How can I be patient if I can't find my lord? And I don't care about Dolphy. My lord's more important right now."

"More important? But you're married to Dolphy, not milord."

"Are you a Death Eater or not? Do you not agree that milord is more important than Dolphy, who can barely hold his wand?" I raised my voice.

"Yes, I agree that milord is more important, but he's not here yet, so why don't you look for your husband while you're waiting for milord to get back?"

"Fine."

I walked around, looking for Dolphy. "Dolphy! Get your ass over here!" huh. He usually responds to that.

"Cissy, have you seen Dolphy?" I asked my sister.

"No, I haven't. Have you seen Luci?" she asked, looknig worried.

"Yeah, he's right over there." I pointed.

She ran to him, and they hugged and kissed, like something out of a shojo manga or a romance novel.

"Where's Dolphy?" I asked Amycus.

"I haven't seen him, Bellatrix. But where is milord?"

"I couldn't find him."

"Hm. Have you seen Alceto?"

"I thought I saw her over in the corner, with someone that looked suspiciously like Greyback…" I knew that Amycus hated Greyback, so I wanted to tease him. I actually didn't see Alecto, but he didn't need to know that. I grinned.

"Fuck!" he muttered, running to find her. He's awfully defensive of his twin.

Where's Dolphy? I kept wondering. Where's my lord? Why can't I fnd them?

I wandered around, frustrated.

There was the sound of somone Apparating, and there was utter silence. It must be my lord!

I ran towards him, pushing my way through the crowd, but the sight that awaited me stopped me short.

It was my lord, all right. And in his arms was the lifeless corpse of my husband.

**Hi, it's me, the author, again! Thank you so much for the reviews. Please keep reviewing! Oh, and sorry the battle wasn't very long, but I'm still new at writing. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

I sat down where I was standing. I couldn't believe my eyes. Dolphy? Dead?

My lord gently laid his body on the ground before me.

I poked his arm. He didn't turn over and slap my hand away like he usually does. "Wake up, you fucking bastard!" I screamed. "Wake up!"

I then realized that my lord was staring at me. I looked down. "I apologize, my lord. I didn't…"

"It's all right, Bellatrix. You're grieving. I understand." My lord turned to face the crowd of Death Eaters. "Rudolphus Lestrange was the first of us to die. You all knew that one day, you could die, too. And yet, despite that, you continue to risk your life to serve me, to accomplish the noble work of Salazar Slytherin. We risk our lives, the lives of others, for our mission. Others suffer and die, because of this. They needn't have died if the didn't fight in the first place. But the weak die so that the strong and the noble can live!" my lord raised his voice. "The strong and noble. Yes, most of you shall die, but for a noble cause. You agreed that if death be the price for what we wizards and witches deserve, so be it! Rudolphus was the first of us to fall victim to the despised Order of the Phoenix. We shall honor his death, as he was loyal, and he was the husband of my most loyal Death Eater, Bellatrix."

My lord looked down at me. I was looking at Dolphy, tears streaming down my face. My lord was honoring my dead husband, and me! I was so happy that I cried harder. I was sad, too. I did love Dolphy. Well, a very small part of me loved him. He was all I could ever ask for, and I treated him like crap. I didn't deserve a wonderful husband like him. I longed for my lord's attention, his affection, not Dolphy's. Dolphy meant nothing to me. He was the only pureblood available. I only married him because my parents told me to. But I hated my parents, so why did I allow them to push me around. But they're dead. They can no longer tell me what to do. I would crucio them if they did.

Rotting away in Azkaban, going insane. The only person who tried to keep me sane was Dolphy. The only person who cared was Dolphy. He hugged me, no matter how filthy I was, no matter how many times I rejected him. He loved me, and I treated him like shit. I won't deny it. I verbally abused him, crucio'd him when we fought or he made me really pissed. But he was always there. And now, he's not.

The one that I did love, myh lord, didn't love me back. We were friends at Hogwarts, but once he became powerful enough, we weren't friends anymore. I was his most loyal servant from the start. I was his first Death Eater. I went along with whatever my lord said. I would do anything for him. I had an unrequited love for him. I did whatever he asked and more. I would even give up my life for him.

After a while, I realized that my lord had stopped talking.

I looked up. There were tears streaming down my face. My lord silently handed me a tissue. "Thank you, my lord," I managed to croak. I wiped my face and blew my nose.

Cissy silently dragged me off the floor and helped me to her guest room.

She helped me get undressed, and she helped me put on pajamas. I numbly laid down on the bed. Cissy pulled the covers over me, gave me a hug, kissed my forehead, and closed the door. She expected me to go to sleep.

I cried myself to sleep that night. No, I didn't really love Dolphy. I did regret treating him like shit. But I didn't regret loving my lord more than I loved Dolphy. If I had done things differently, if I had been honest from the start, then maybe I would feel more grief than guilt. But what was done was done. I had no second chance. I was a widow. I slept restlessly, but it was sleep. A temporary relief from the awful events from that night. A respite that I didn't deserve.

**Muhahahahahahahahaha! I'm so evil. I apologize for taking so long to write this chapter, but it's so dark and depressing that I kept putting it off and putting it off…And it'll probably take forever for me to write the next chapter, too. SO. Please go on my profile and vote on my poll. Oh, and please please please please review! Otherwise you won't get another chapter. Muahahaha! **


	7. Chapter 7

I sat up. Why were there voices coming from downstairs? What time was it? I tried to get up, but I felt like my head would explode. I felt weighed down with depression. Why? Oh. Right. Dolphy…I couldn't cry. I never even really loved him, so why should I cry?

I carefully got dressed and went downstairs. Voices were coming from the meeting room. Was there a meeting going on? Without ME?

I opened the door. My lord was in his usual chair at the head of the table, Luci on his left. My seat was empty. Cissy and Draco were there, too. No one had bothered to wake me up. My fingers twitched in irritation. I was still a Death eater, right? Just because my idiot husband went and got himself killed didn't mean that I wasn't still a Death Eater. I sat down in my seat, glaring at Cissy.

My lord looked at me, along with everyone else. "Bellatrix, are you sure you should be up?" my lord asked.

"Yes my lord, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

Cissy looked pissed. But wait, shouldn't I be the pissed one? My husband died, and everyone thinks I should be in bed all day, mourning? Even Cissy? Don't they KNOW me?

My lord continued what he was saying before I came in. "So Potter escaped, but we'll have other oportunities to trap him and his friends. It seems that they have decided to no longer attend Hogwarts."

"But why, my lord?" soemone asked.

"I have yet to find out. But we have the advantage in this suituation. I have decided to send out the Snatchers. Potter has never been afraid to say my name, like the old fool Dumbledore. Every time my name is said, the person that said my name will be captured, tortured, and brought to me. And Alecto and Amycus, you two will now be teachers at Hogwarts."

Alecto smiled. I really wanted to punch her. "Thank you, my lord," she said.

"Thank you my lord," her twin said. I really wanted to crucio the shit out of them.

"Now then, we are still waiting for the Ministry to fall." He glared at the people who were supposed to be taking care of that. "But patience is key. The ministry will fall, Potter will be dead, and the world will be ours. Any questions?"

Of course, there were never any questoins. "Good."

We took that as a dismissal. Cissy immediately came up to bother me. "Why are you here? You should be resting. Get back to bed. Now."

"Why?"

"Because you're in shock."

"Not really. I just want to crucio some muggles. Is ther anything wrong wth that?"

"You should be sleeping."

"CISSY. Just because Dolphy's dead, it doesn't mean that I have to act dead too. It's not like I can't live without him. I'm an independent wonman, you know. I can live without him! I don't need to be treated as if I'm going to break into tears at anyminute. I'm not weak or fragile!" I was getting really pissed.

"Okay, okay, sorry. But still, it's not a good idea for you to be up."

"Why?"

"Don't you feel anything? Sad, lonely, depressed?"

"A little depressed, but just a little. Not really sad or lonely. Can I cause destruction now?"

"No." That wasn't Cissy. It was my lord. "Bellatrix, you should go to bed," he continued. "I need you to be a good girl and get some rest so you can think clearly, which you obviously aren't doing right now. The Ministry hasn't fallen yet, so you have to lie low until the Ministry is ours. Do you understand?"

"Yes my lord." I sighed quietly and trudged upstairs.

Sometimes, life just REALLY sucks. Actually, life sucks most of the time. And I was just learning this now?

I changed back into my pajamas and laid there, unable to sleep. I didn't deserve sleep. All I could think about was that my lord cared about me, even if he only thought of me as his most loyal servant. Even if he would never look at me twice.

I sighed again. Yep, life really sucks.

**Hi! Sorry it's been so long for me to upload, but it's so dark and depressing! I really don't like writing dark and depressing things, so hopefully the next chapter will be a little bit better. Please review! And have a good day/night/whatever!**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with a gasp. In my nightamre, I was crucio-ing Dolphy. Then he screamed and was still. I'd tortured my husband to death. I woke up, and realized that I was lying in bed and not at the Ministry of Mgaic, where my nightmare had taken place.

I heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in," I called.

Cissy came in, bearing a tray with a bowl of soup, a piece of bread, and a glass of milk.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Noon. You slept a long time. Are you feeling okay?" Cissy put the tray down on my table and sat on the bed next to me.

"I'm fine."

"I read that sometimes people who are depressed sleep a lot more than regular people do."

"I'm not depressed. I'm just sleeping a lot because I'm tired."

"Bellatrix, this is the fifth time this week that you've slept in until lunchtime. I'm beginning to worry. You're sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine! I wish you would stop looking at me like I'm going to fall apart at any moment. I'm not weak. And I'm not depressed!"

"I never said you were. I was just worrying that you might be getting depressed. My lord wants to see you when you're done eating."

"I'm not hungry."

Cissy glared at me. "You're eating, so eat fast."

I sighed and started to devour the soup. I gulped the milk and quicky ate the bread. I ran downstairs to the meeting room, where I found my lord stroking Nagini.

"You wished to see me, my lord?" I asked, staying standing.

"Yes. Please sit."

I immediately obeyed.

"Bellatrix, I understand that losing your husband has not made you weak or even sway in your loyalty to me."

"Of course not, my lord."

"I have a special mission, and you're the only Death Eater that I truly trust with this task."

"Yes my lord."

"Have you ever heard of the Tale of the Three Brothers?"

"Yes my lord."

"I need you to search for the Elder Wand. I need you to capture the wandmaker Ollivander and bring him to me."

"My lord, you truly believe the Elder Wand exists?"

"Yes. But I need to be sure. Ollivander may have information about it that I need. Can you do this task?"

"Yes my lord." Finally! I could do something that wouldn't make me resemble a ghost, like I've been for the past few days.

"I know you will not fail me. And if he refuses to give information, I'll even let you help me...convince...him to give me what I need. And by that I mean torture him until he says something useful."

"Thank you, my lord. I will not let you down."

"I know you won't."

I bowed, and Disapparated.

**Hello! Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Please please review, and please vote on the poll on my profile. Have a fantastic day/night/whatever!**


	9. Chapter 9

I went home immediately after my talk with my lord. It was the first time I'd been there for over a week; the last time I'd gone there was before Dolphy died.

I went into my room and grabbed the bottle of Polyjuice Potion I always kept handy, along with a few of Narcissa's hairs. No, I did not take advantage of the fact that she sleeps like a log, and even dumping water on her wouldn't wake her up. Okay, I did, but I digress.

I held my nose and drank it. I could feel my skin bubble and change, my hair getting straighter, but I kept my eyes closed. When I opened them, I was Narcissa. I changed into some robes that I borrowed from her and never returned. When I was as much like Narcissa as I could get, I Disapparated to Diagon Alley.

I looked around. I was right in front of Ollivander's shop. Perfect. I opened the door and strode in, trying not to act as haughty as usual.

"Oh, Mrs. Malfoy," Ollivander greeted me. "Hello. You require a new wand, yes?"

I ignored him. I was too busy thinking of that rope spell. It's been so long since I used it…then I remembered. "Incarcerous!"

Ropes wrapped themselves around the wandmaker. I grabbed hold of one of the ropes and Disapparated back to Narcissa's house, where my lord would be awaiting my return. It'd only taken me a little while to fulfill my mission, but I hoped to crucio the wandmaker.

I dragged him to the meeting room.

"The wandmaker, my lord," I said, setting down Ollivander. Tears were running down his face. Hm. I wondered why, and then realized that I really didn't give a shit.

My lord simply looked at me. Clearly, I still looked like my sister. He was sitting in his seat by the fire with Nagini, just like he was before I left. "That was fast," my lord finally said.

"He didn't put up a fight like I anticipated, my lord."

My lord finally turned his attention to the old man.

"What do you know about the Elder Wand?" my lord inquired.

"Th-the-the E-elder W-wa-wand?" the old man stuttered. "I-I know only that it is a story, one of Beadle the Bard's, I b-believe. It is said to be the most powerful wand in the world. The master of it would be invincible."

"I already know that. Do you know where it is?" my lord asked.

"It's a story. A myth. A legend. It does not exist."

"I know if you lie, Ollivander. It is not wise to lie to Lord Voldemort." My lord looked at me meaningfully.

I smiled viciously, still looking like Narcissa. "CRUCIO!"

Ollivander screamed in pain, which only fueled my fury. I stopped when my lord looked at me again.

"Now, you were saying?"

"It does not exist."

My lord nodded to me. "CRUCIO!"

The old man let out a blood-curdling scream. I grinned and laughed a little. Other people's pain amuses me.

"Who was the last person known to be in the possession of the Elder Wand?" my lord demanded.

"I don't know!"

I tortured the old man yet again.

"I am growing impatient, Ollivander. Tell me, now! You know, and you will tell me!" my lord's red eyes blazed. Ollivander was in deep doo doo if he meant to defy my lord another time.

I felt myself finally go back to normal.

"It's just a tale, as real as Babbity Rabbity."

My lord's eyes hardened. "Bellatrix."

"CRUCIO!"

The old man, still tied up, writhed and screamed in pain. I laughed evilly.

"Take him to the basement," my lord commanded.

"Should I take him down the stairs or just throw him down, my lord?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter, just don't let him die. I'm not done with him yet."

"Yes my lord." I grabbed the old man and towed him to the basement door, throwing him down the stairs and locking the door.

I returned to my lord.

"Bellatrix, who was that other wandmaker?" my lord asked thoughtfully, stroking his snake.

I thought for a moment. "Other…wandmaker…Um…Gregorovitch?"

"Gregorovitch," my lord repeated. "Hm. Bellatrix, how would you like to go on…a field trip?"

I grinned. "I would love to, my lord. To where?"

"To help me find this other wandmaker."

"Of course, my lord."

"Excellent. We'll leave tomorrow. And not a word to anyone, understand? Not even Narcissa."

"Yes my lord."

**Uwa! What's gonna happen next? Oh, wait, I'm the author. Right. Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Blame darn insane weather. Please review! And have an awesome whatever!**


	10. Chapter 10

I met my lord in the meeting room the next day. I checked my bags to see that I had everything. Spare robes, check. Hairbrush, check. Wand and the wand I stole from someone…check. My special necklace, check. Colored duck tape…CHECK.

"My lord!" one of the Death Eaters burst into the room.

"What is it that you need, Yaxley?" my lord asked quietly.

"The Ministry has fallen! Scrimgeor is dead! The Ministry is yours!"

"The Weasley's wedding…he's sure to be there, my lord," I muttered. We'd gotten word the other day about how one of Potter's friend's brother was getting married, and Potter was bound to be there. My lord knew what I meant, and instantly Disapparated. With the Ministry ours, the enchantments had to have fallen, which meant that Potter would be unprotected and easy to get to.

I followed.

There was chaos, people running and Disapparating. Spells shot from both Death eaters and members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Potter was nowhere in sight. My lord screamed his fury. The other Death Eaters were so shaken at seeing my lord like this that they stopped fighting for a moment. The silence was broken by my swearing. I blew a hole in the ground, making a few Death Eaters jump.

My lord calmed down. "You two," my lord pointed to two Death Eaters. "Follow that trail." Disapparating leaves a trail, and if a certain spell is used, then that trail can be tracked.

My lord chose other Death Eaters to follow different trails, sending a few into the Muggle world. After a few minutes, there were two other death Eaters besides me. These he sent to my traitor cousin's house to make sue that Potter doesn't go there.

Then it was just the two of us, and the giant hole in the ground.

My lord took a deep breath and turned to me. He grabbed my arm and we Disapparated back to Malfoy Manor. His touch raised goose bumps on my arms.

He let go. "Bellatrix, we need to leave. Now. Grab your things, and let's go."

"My lord, do you have any idea where to start looking for him?"

My lord sighed. "Let's just…wing it."

I stared at him. "Um…wing it…my lord?"

The corners of my lord's mouth lifted just a tiny bit. "That was what some people might call a joke. I heard rumors of his whereabouts, and I wish to pursue them."

"Okay, my lord."

We Disapparated, carrying our few bags that we'd packed.

**Ooh, I wonder what's going to happen next! I can't wait for the next chapter! Oh, wait…I'm the author…And I don't know what's going to happen next…Is there anything wrong with that, do you suppose? Oh well! We'll see what happens…In the meantime, please review! Bye! Have a great…meh, whatever! **


	11. Chapter 11

We ended up in a little village. "Bella, before I forget, I need you to do something for me," my lord said.

"Anything you need, my lord," I instantly responded.

"Anything?" he asked in a tone that made me regret what I'd said.

I gulped. "Anything, my lord."

"I need you to go to Gringotts and put this in your vault while I look around," he said, giving me a large golden cup. It looked valuable.

"Of course, my lord," I said. I pulled up the hood of my cloak and DIsapparated to the wizarding bank.

I briskly walked through the doors, barely sparing a glance at the goblins guarding the doors.

"Madam LeStrange," a goblin greeted me fearfully. "I shall need the clackers," he said, turning to another goblin. It handed the first goblin a strange object that would enable us to get bythe dragon without getting attacked. Well, I could've easily killed it, but the gobln would probably get eaten. Not that that would be too much of a loss, but I needed it to get into my vault.

"Please follow me," it said. I despise goblins; they're disgusting little creatures. I followed it into a cart. We practically flew, going through some enchanments to uncover thieves. We finally arrived at the dragon. I got out of the cart and followed the goblin, who was shaking the clackers. The dragon backed away from us, allowing us to go into my vault.

The goblin opened the door. I looked inside; everything was as it should be. The Sword of Gryffindor was in one corner. I carefully put my lord's cup on a pile of random valuables, and the goblin and I went back to the cart. Once we were where we started, I killed the goblin so it wouldn't tell anyone what I had put in my vault, and quickly strode outside.

I Disapparated back to where my lord was waiting for me.

"DId you find anything out, my lord?" I asked.

"Yes. He is not here. Did you put it in your vault?"

"Yes, my lord." I wondered why it was so important to him.

"I'll explain its importance at a later time. For now, though, I recall another place where he might be found. Let's go," my lord said, grabbing my arm. We Disapparated to yet another shabby-looking village. I doubted we were going to get any real leads anytime soon, but I was glad to be out and actually doing something useful.

**That was not a very long or eventful chapter. Sorry about that, and being dead for a few months. If you thought it was because I was in the hospital for being cruciod for not uploading-that would be a very good guess. But no, haha, I actually got a new computer, and just found out how to make documents on it and upload them. Muahahaha! But hopefully I'll upload again soon. Hope you liked the chapter, more to come soon! Okay, bye! Have a wonderful whatever! **


	12. Chapter 12

"My lord?" I asked.

"Just wait here, Bellatrix, let me ask this time. I don't want you to blow up the entire village this time."

"They were disrespectful little muggles who didn't know their place!"

"Because our existence is, for now, unknown. Stay here and don't blow anything up. Or kill anyone unless I tell you to."

I suppressed a sigh. "Yes my lord."

He went up to the door of the shabby little house and knocked. A little muggle greeted him. looking quite scared.

"Grindelwald?" he asked.

She looked more scared. "G-G-I-I don't know wh-who you're talking about. I d-don't know anyone by that name." She tried closing the door in his face. He opened i again and started towards her. She ran from him. I smiled, knowing the outcome before I heard a high-pitched scream.

My lord strode out of the house, looking pissed.

"Let's go," he commanded.

"Yes, my lord." We Disapparated. "My lord?" I asked when we finally reached another of his destinations.

"What?" he asked distractedly.

"Why exactly are we looking for a wandmaker? And are we searching randomly, or do you know where he has lived and where we might find him?"

"Remember my request from earlier?" Yes, I remembered it. It was after about five murders ago. He'd said _I'll explain to you later. I just need a lead first. Then i will tell you what we are doing, and why. Until then, don't question my actions._

"Yes my lord."

"I think we should make camp for tonight. You steal food, and I will set up camp."

"Yes sir." I ran off to the nearby town from the forest we'd landed in. I found a house with all the lights out, and all the things muggles called cars were gone. I broke a window and took as much food as I could put in my bag, and ran back to where my lord was waiting. This had been our routine for the few weeks we'd been searching for the wandmaker. We would often return home, so that the other Death Eaters wouldn't find out about what we were doing. My lord got more and more frustrated with each dead end. I thought about when we would return home while my lord and I ate our stolen dinner.

"Bellatrix?" my lord asked, lying in the small tent we had. I slept outside, as usual.

"Yes?"

"Soon."

"Soon what, my lord?"

"We will go home again soon, and I will explain our mission to you soon. So just go to sleep, and tomorrow we will continue our search."

I tried not to sigh again. "Yes sir."

I slept, and green lights kept flashing in my dreams.

**Hello! Sory for the short, uneventful chapter, but stuff is coming! I promise! Have a wonderful whatever! **


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